Bless This House - Series 5

Sid decides to enter a songwriting competition with his un-acknowledged classic 'You Can Have My Welks and Cockles But Leave My Winkles Alone'. However, he's not exactly in the same league as Lennon-McCartney, especially when inebriated.

After getting a warning from a gypsy, that someone she loves will be involved in a water related accident, Jean tries to prevent Sid from going fishing. But is this the accident that the gypsy spoke about?

Sid brings home an old wodden chair, but there's something wrong with it. Meanwhile, Mike's dancer girlfriend comes to stay, but Mike doesn't explain what sort of dancer she is.

Sid isn't too fond of his kids' latest scheme to raise some money to go on holiday.

Jean feels like a frumpy boring housewife, and as much as she loves Sid, she feels that their marriage has gone stale. She has a plan to spruce it up but Sid is far from keen on the idea though.

Sid's boss wants Jean to star in his production of 'The Pirates of Penzance'. Sid is OK with this, but then he discovers his boss wants him in the show too. Meanwhile, Sally starts chatting with a policeman and Trev brings some paint home for Sid.

What should a husband do if his family give him a birthday present he can't use?

Sid doesn't like the idea of Sally and Mike befriending a tramp. He likes it even less when Sally brings him home and everyone takes the tramp's side.

Disillusioned with the local Residents Association, Sid leads a revolt against the Chairman. Then Trevor takes things one step too far.

Sid is asked by Jean's cousin to organise a wedding for her daughter. He refuses, until he realises that there may be something in it for him.