Season 1 poster
24 episodes

Two and a Half Men - Season 1

First aired Sep 22, 2003Season 1

Bachelor Charlie Harper’s carefree life is turned upside down when his uptight brother Alan and nephew Jake move in, sparking chaos and comedy in Malibu.

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Reviews

Community reviews for Two and a Half Men, shown here with its season details.

I

Ibraheem...

6.0

The same story all over again, in almost every episode. Tedious, yet there are some great jokes. You would hope it will get better in the next season, it doesn't.

Episodes

Pilot still

Episode 1

Pilot

6.7
Sep 22, 200323 min31 votes

Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.

Big Flappy Bastards still

Episode 2

Big Flappy Bastards

7.2
Sep 29, 200321 min23 votes

Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps going to her house to fix things.

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell still

Episode 3

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

7.2
Oct 6, 200321 min21 votes

Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap still

Episode 4

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

7.4
Oct 13, 200321 min21 votes

Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.

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Episode 5

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump

7.2
Oct 20, 200319 min19 votes

Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.

Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? still

Episode 6

Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

6.7
Oct 27, 200321 min19 votes

The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake still

Episode 7

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

7.7
Nov 3, 200321 min19 votes

Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.

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Episode 8

Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

7.2
Nov 10, 200319 min19 votes

Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.

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Episode 9

Phase One, Complete

6.8
Nov 17, 200321 min18 votes

Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and Evelyn.

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Episode 10

Merry Thanksgiving

7.0
Nov 24, 200321 min18 votes

Realizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him.

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Episode 11

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

6.8
Dec 15, 200320 min18 votes

When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image.

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Episode 12

Camel Filters and Pheromones

7.0
Jan 5, 200421 min21 votes

Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.

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Episode 13

Sarah Like Puny Alan

6.6
Jan 12, 200420 min16 votes

Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long time.

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Episode 14

I Can't Afford Hyenas

6.7
Feb 2, 200421 min17 votes

Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a budget.

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Episode 15

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

6.8
Feb 9, 200421 min16 votes

Charlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems.

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Episode 16

That Was Saliva, Alan

6.9
Feb 16, 200421 min16 votes

Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.

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Episode 17

Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

7.2
Feb 23, 200420 min16 votes

Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and has to be rushed to the hospital.

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Episode 18

An Old Flame With a New Wick

7.0
Mar 1, 200421 min20 votes

Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.

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Episode 19

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

7.1
Mar 22, 200419 min16 votes

Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own.

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Episode 20

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

6.9
Apr 19, 200421 min16 votes

Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.

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Episode 21

No Sniffing, No Wowing

6.9
May 3, 200421 min15 votes

Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a self-centered lothario.

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Episode 22

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

6.7
May 10, 200421 min15 votes

When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cure.

Just Like Buffalo still

Episode 23

Just Like Buffalo

7.3
May 17, 200421 min15 votes

When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie.

Can You Feel My Finger? still

Episode 24

Can You Feel My Finger?

6.9
May 24, 200421 min15 votes

Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.