Season 3 poster
24 episodes

Two and a Half Men - Season 3

First aired Sep 19, 2005Season 3

Family ties tighten and tension rises as Charlie's wild ways clash with Alan's neuroses, leading to hilarious misadventures in love, work, and parenting.

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Reviews

Community reviews for Two and a Half Men, shown here with its season details.

I

Ibraheem...

6.0

The same story all over again, in almost every episode. Tedious, yet there are some great jokes. You would hope it will get better in the next season, it doesn't.

Episodes

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Episode 1

Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts

7.2
Sep 19, 200522 min15 votes

After falling off the roof, Alan needs Charlie's help in looking after Jake, which interferes with Charlie's social life.

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Episode 2

Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

6.6
Sep 26, 200522 min16 votes

Jake gets suspended from school after drawing an offensive picture of a girl in his class that has large breasts. Meanwhile, Charlie is asked to watch over Alan's chiropractic office after pulling an all-nighter.

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Episode 3

Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

7.2
Oct 3, 200522 min15 votes

Alan has been dating a lot, and Charlie soon finds out that it has been one woman - his ex-wife, Judith. He tries to stop Alan, and even brings Rose, Evelyn and Berta to interfere - but Alan ignores them all.

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Episode 4

Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs

7.2
Oct 10, 200522 min14 votes

Berta causes tension between Charlie and Alan, when she temporarily moves in with them

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Episode 5

We Called It Mr. Pinky

7.3
Oct 17, 200521 min14 votes

Charlie learns he can't be in a long-lasting relationship, becuase of unresolved issues he has with his mother. Jake asks Charlie for advice about a girl at school.

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Episode 6

Hi, Mr. Horned One

7.4
Oct 24, 200521 min16 votes

Ignoring Alan's warnings, Charlie continues to date Isabella until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.

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Episode 7

Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

7.0
Nov 7, 200522 min14 votes

Charlie wakes up with Rose the morning after her birthday party. Her irate father comes to ask Charlie about what the future holds for him and Rose, but the unexpected happens when Evelyn shows up.

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Episode 8

That Voodoo That I Do Do

7.4
Nov 14, 200521 min17 votes

Charlie tricks Jake into taking ballet lessons, so he can get close to the teacher.

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Episode 9

Madame and Her Special Friend

6.6
Nov 21, 200521 min17 votes

One of Charlie's elderly neighbors tries to seduce Alan, while Charlie tries to stop Jake from giving money to a televangelist.

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Episode 10

Something Salted and Twisted

6.8
Nov 28, 200522 min13 votes

Charlie helps Alan with his obsession of always having to get approval from the women in his life.

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Episode 11

Santa's Village of the Damned

7.5
Dec 19, 200522 min15 votes

Alan starts dating a woman with a Martha Stewart complex. Before long she's running the house with an obsession for perfection.

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Episode 12

That Special Tug

7.1
Jan 9, 200622 min13 votes

Charlie sees a therapist to learn how to deal with Alan's emotional insecurities.

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Episode 13

Humiliation Is a Visual Medium

7.2
Jan 23, 200622 min13 votes

Charlie finds himself in a relationship that is not based on sex.

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Episode 14

Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

7.6
Feb 6, 200622 min13 votes

Charlie arranges a romantic date with Mia in the hopes of consummating their relationship. Alan begins to date Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.

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Episode 15

My Tongue Is Meat

7.4
Feb 27, 200622 min14 votes

Charlie has trouble keeping up with Mia's healthy lifestyle, so he begins to sneak beers, cigars, and burgers behind her back. When Mia finds out what he was doing, Charlie has to decide if he is truly in love with her or just whipped.

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Episode 16

Ergo, the Booty Call

7.6
Mar 6, 200622 min14 votes

Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.

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Episode 17

The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer

7.0
Mar 13, 200621 min13 votes

Charlie is nominated for an advertising award, but he decides to boycott it because his arch nemesis always wins. The rest of his family tries to trick him into going. Rose is having relationship problems with Gordon and seeks help from Charlie.

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Episode 18

The Spit-Covered Cobbler

7.1
Mar 20, 200621 min14 votes

Alan starts to have financial problems when he starts paying for his girlfriend's bills, so Charlie tries to get him to break up with her. Meanwhile, Judith is after Alan because he is late in paying his alimony check.

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Episode 19

Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

7.5
Apr 10, 200622 min14 votes

Charlie is surprised to find out that Kandi has been living with them for the last three weeks. Alan is having a tough time helping Kandi earn a living. Charlie has lost his sense because of the dry-spell he is going through.

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Episode 20

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

7.8
Apr 24, 200621 min17 votes

Alan tries to win Kandi back. Meanwhile, Charlie starts to sleep with her mom, Mandi, and Judith gets set up with her father, Andy.

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Episode 21

And the Plot Moistens

7.2
May 1, 200621 min13 votes

Jake's teacher has a meeting with Alan and Judith to discuss the lack of interest Jake has at school. Alan starts to fall for Francine, in a platonic way, because he is tired of the lack of intelligent communication he has with Kandi. Charlie helps Jake audition for his school musical.

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Episode 22

Just Once with Aunt Sophie

7.3
May 8, 200622 min13 votes

A girl from Jake's school invites him to his first boy-girl party. Charlie and Alan help him get ready for it by giving him advice. Alan and Charlie get nostalgic and remember their first boy-girl party.

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Episode 23

Arguments for the Quickie

7.1
May 15, 200622 min14 votes

Mia comes back to town with her dance troupe and invites Charlie to her performance. At first, he decides not to go and tries to convince Alan that he no longer has feelings for her. He goes to the see the performance and Mia explains that she wants some of Charlie's sperm. Charlie responds by asking Mia for something.

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Episode 24

That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

7.3
May 22, 200621 min15 votes

Charlie and Mia start making their wedding arrangements. Things begin to fall apart when their two families meet each other. They eventually decide on a small ceremony in Las Vegas.